Eradication
by Anagram for Grace
Summary: While Jaci's finally shared her secrets with her friends, she's kept even more from the Clave. Already knowing the truth about "Sebastian" and Valentine's plans, she takes it upon herself to save as many lives as possible - but that will come with a cost. Alternate City of Glass.
1. Dealing with Downworlders

**I just wanna say, if you've stuck with this since Exist, thank you so much! That being said, if you just happened to stumble across this, you're going to want to go read Exist and Endure before you start this or you might be confused. All right, buckle your seatbelts because we're about to go off book!**

* * *

><p>It was still an hour before sunset but the sheer height of the buildings brought the darkness down early. Not that it was every truly dark in New York, just less naturally lit. And maybe I was imagining the world darker than it actually was.<p>

Every step I took caused my pack to tap my back, sending waves of cold even through the layers of fabric separating my skin from the cold steel. I was on my way to see Magnus with the Mortal Sword. Isabelle was the only other one who knew what I was up to. We'd discussed what to do about the sword the day I'd woken up in the Infirmary. Originally, our plan was to inform Maryse and let the Clave handle it but then we decided, after reading _City of Glass_, that it would be best to let the Clave prepare for imminent war against Valentine and a massive army of demons while figuring out how to use the sword to our advantage.

Obviously, our first step had to be undoing the corruption to the blade. So, under the pretense of going to take magic lessons, I was smuggling the stupid thing to Magnus. Not for the first time, I was annoyed with myself for taking my painstakingly applied glamour off the sword.

Though Magnus said I could, I hadn't taken Alec's key so I had to wait for the warlock to let me in. As soon as he opened the door, his catlike eyes were on my pack and he was frowning.

"And I thought this might be a social call," he complained, stepping aside to let me in.

Chairman Meow made a break for the temporarily open door but Magnus easily caught him with his foot.

"It's partially a social call," I lied.

"I doubt that," he said with a smirk, "my dimension-traveling-Shadow-Mage."

I gingerly took off my pack and held it out to him. "Should we really be advertising the 'dimension-traveling' part of that?"

Magnus frowned but took the wrapped up sword from me. "I don't think we should be advertising the 'Mage' part either but you haven't exactly kept yourself hidden."

I blinked. "Why should we try to keep the Mage thing a secret? Also, what do you mean I haven't kept myself hidden?"

"Oh, it's not your fault, darling," he said as he swept out of the room with the sword – I followed. "Light magic gives off a trace that's easily noted. Shadowhunters always leave a _slight _Light magic trace but you leave behind a strobe light." He'd gone into a room that appeared to be some sort of strange office and plopped the sword down on a worktable.

I helped him untie the bindings from the sword. "Well, let's hope my 'strobe light' slows down all the epileptic demons."

"I never know if seizure jokes are considered tasteful or not. Fetch me that dark green book from the shelf."

"When did you start caring about whether or not your jokes were tasteful?" I glanced at the shelf. There were at least four books that could be considered dark green, not counting the two or three that might've originally been some other color but had turned green as they aged. "What's the title of that book?"

"You won't be able to read it. It's in a demon language."

I grabbed the first of the books I saw that I wasn't able to read the title of and brought it to him. Apparently my guess had been right.

"Isn't that the book that has the Ritual of Infernal Conversion in it?"

"Yes," Magnus answered, not looking up from searching through the pages.

"Do you really expect it says how to reverse the ritual? That doesn't seem like it would belong in this book…" I shivered as I skimmed the words on the pages he was flipping through. Now that I was attuned to Light magic, demons and Dark magic were that much more unsettling to me.

He shook his head. "No, I'm just hoping I'm able to create a counterspell from the original ritual."

I sighed and threw myself down in a nearby armchair. "That sounds complicated."

"And expensive," he agreed. His green eyes flicked to me. "Which reminds me, how do you intend to pay for this? Is the Clave sponsoring this project?"

Very deliberately, I sat up demurely and crossed my ankles. "That's a point I'd like to address… The Clave knows nothing about this. They think Valentine still has Maellertach."

His eyebrows decided to vacation in the fringes of his spikey hair.

"Put your eyebrows down," I added. "I have my reasons, but I will pay you for converting the sword back."

Magnus moved to sit opposite me. "You don't have the resources of the Clave or the Seelie Court. Jaci, you can't afford me."

"But," I pointed out, "you would't've let me get this far if you didn't plan on helping me."

"Back when I thought you were here as representative of the Clave."

"Magnus," I said in a mildly parental tone.

The warlock flashed a smile. "There is something… You Shadowhunters are going to Idris soon, right?"

"In a few days," I confirmed.

Magnus steepled his fingers and gazed at me over the peaks. "Now, in that book –_ The Glass City_ or whatever – Clary went to Idris to find Ragnor Fell and find how to save Jocelyn."

I nodded and waited patiently for him to continue.

"Of course, we already know that Fell will be dead by the time Clary finds him _if _she starts asking about him. Fortunately, we also know that Fell is a middleman we can skip when it comes to saving Jocelyn. Obviously, you know that, too. And knowing what I do of you, you are going to keep Clary in New York so that she's safe."

I nodded again, all of what he was saying made sense.

"So, Jaci darling," he grinned, "I want you to bring me the Book of the White in exchange for the sword's being restored. Do we have a deal?"

"You have to cure Jocelyn, too."

He rolled his eyes. "Of course. Shall I draw up a contract?"

"I trust you, Magnus."

He beamed at me. "That's wonderful! Now remember, the book is in the library in the Wayland manor house hidden inside _Simple Recipes for Housewives_. You'll need Jace to help you get it, which I'm positive he'll object to." He winked. "How _is _that obnoxious Shadowhunter anyway?"

I shrugged stiffly. "He's currently trying to figure out if he wants to spend time with his ill grandmother or not."

Magnus sucked in a breath and leaned back in his chair. "I suppose that would be a complicated situation."

"I mean, she did lock him up and threaten to have him killed," I admitted. "But then she threw herself in front of a demon to save him. If those aren't mixed signals, I don't know what are."

"To think, just a few days ago Imogen thought all of her family was dead."

"Jace used to think all of his family was dead, too," I pointed out. "Back when he believed he was a Wayland."

The warlock's eyes flashed. "What about you? Do you think all of your family is dead?"

I was very quiet for a moment as I considered Magnus's question. What with my parentage being completely unknown, I hadn't ever really thought much about my biological family. There hadn't really been a lot of time for me to even think about my real family since finding out I was adopted what with training to be a Shadowhunter, learning to speak runes, and having to fight Valentine. "I… I don't know."

"I would suggest you convince yourself they're dead. That way, if you're wrong, it won't be as traumatic."

"Thanks," I said flatly.

"You're welcome," he said cheerily. "Now, I take it you'll want the sword before you go to Idris?"

"That would be fantastic."

He nodded. "Not to kick you out, but I'm kicking you out." Blue sparks shot from his fingertips. "I have work to do."

* * *

><p>"You're not letting me go?!" Clary demanded. When she got angry, her face started to match her hair.<p>

"Luke doesn't think it's a good idea either," I responded. "Right, Luke."

I could tell he didn't appreciate being pulled into the conversation like that. He glanced across the table to Clary and then at me.

"I don't like the thought of either of you going to Idris," he admitted. "But I don't have a say over Jaci."

While I was pleased by that, I was also confused. "Why not?"

"Faeries become adults when they turn sixteen," he explained.

"But I'm not a faerie."

He shrugged and grabbed another slice of pizza. "I've heard the Queen considers you a full-fledged member of the Seelie Court. Besides, you're the first of your kind and with the situation with Valentine not improving, I can't imagine the Clave _not _involving you."

"But I'm a Shadowhunter too!" Clary argued. "If they're calling all the Shadowhunters back to Idris-"

"No, Clary," I said with finality. "Mom left me in charge of you before all this started. Besides, you're only sixteen and you're not trained. I get it, you want to see Idris and I promise we'll go sometime. But right now they're preparing for _war-_"

"I play a big role!" Clary snapped.

Luke shot me a confused glance.

I stared at Clary, trying to get a message to her without speaking. Luke knew nothing about the books and I intended to keep it that way.

"Mom went through a lot of trouble to get you out of Idris," I pointed out. "Don't throw that in her face."

"She brought _you _out of Idris, too! And you aren't even her kid!"

"But I'm old enough to make my own choices. Plus, the Clave's invited me." That was a bit of a low blow since she hadn't been invited by the Clave.

Clary shoved her chair back ferociously, placed her plate in the sink with a clatter, and stormed out of the kitchen.

Luke sighed heavily and continued eating his pizza.

"I'm never going to have children," I announced. "I can't handle teenagers."

That earned me a chuckle from Luke. "I think you'd do just fine raising teenagers."

"Thanks, I think. Luke," I said, recalling Magnus's words from earlier, "do you know who my parents are?"

He sighed again and shook his head. "Jocelyn never told me. I would ask and she'd just say that she was your mother now. I'm sorry, Jaci."

"You have to know _something_," I insisted. "Who was pregnant seventeen years ago?"

"I was turned before that," he explained carefully. "I wasn't around Shadowhunters much after that."

"Except for Jocelyn," I pointed out. "You knew I wasn't her kid, so why didn't you share that earlier in my life?"

"I'm not your mother. It wasn't my decision to make."

In my pocket, my phone buzzed with a new text message. "It's from Jace," I explained.

"Do you need to head back to the Institute?"

I read the text again. "No, he's just asking when I'll be back. Isabelle probably made him do it."

"Are you and Jace fighting?"

I shook my head and stowed my phone away. "We're not fight_ing_, we had a fight."

"Do you, want to talk about it?"

"Nah," I smiled, "we're okay. We talked through it, things are just a bit more cautious now."

Luke laughed. "More cautious? I don't know if I've ever seen a young Shadowhunter couple as cautious as the two of you."

"Well his sister is my parabatai so things need to work or else they'll get crazy awkward."

My phone went off again.

"Go," Luke said, making a half-hearted shoeing motion with his hands. "It sounds like you're needed.

"Thanks for dinner," I said, getting to my feet. "Will you tell Clary I'm sorry but I'm not going to change my mind about Idris?"

"Oh I think she knows," he commented, "but yes, I'll tell her."

He looked tired all the time now. A bit more grey had made its way into his hair and he looked like he hadn't been sleeping the best but then again, it'd only been a few days since he'd battled a demon hoard with a handful of Shadowhunters. He had every right to look tired.

I hugged him briefly on my way out the door. Hopefully, if Clary didn't go to Idris, Luke wouldn't either. He needed the rest.


	2. Sabriel

Jace yawned hugely and expressively, stretching as he did so. I had to duck to avoid getting hit in the face.

"This is boring," he announced.

Maryse's sharp eyes flashed to her adopted son. "You're free to leave."

I grinned at Jace. We weren't perfectly okay yet after he found out I'd altered his memories about his discovering _City of Ashes_ but we were enough okay that I could openly enjoy the fact that he was being scolded by his mother. It wasn't a bad sort of okay.

"Besides," Robert added, giving me an openly curious glance, "I can't imagine you children being interested in the details of how we're getting to Idris."

Now it was Jace's turn to grin at me. Apparently he'd wanted to get us all kicked out of the meeting with Magnus. The Lightwoods were coordinating our upcoming trip to Idris with the warlock who would be making the Portal for us. Isabelle, Alec, Jace, and I had all decided to sit in just for fun on the off chance that we might learn something interesting. We hadn't really learned anything.

"I'm not a child," Alec protested though he didn't look like his heart was in it.

"But your parabatai is," Isabelle pointed out happily. "And on that note, let's go do some training so Jace is less bored."

"Yes," Maryse agreed. "New parabatai need to learn how best to fight together."

I knew she was referring to Isabelle and myself. In order to free me from the grips of the Seelie Court, Isabelle and I had become parabatai so that there was a claim on me that was stronger than blood. I wasn't sure yet how Robert and Maryse felt about it. They were very traditional Shadowhunters and I was a touch unique.

Taking the hint, the four of us said goodbye to Magnus and made our way out of the library.

"Why did you do that, Jace?" Alec demanded the moment the heavy doors had fallen shut behind us. "I thought we weren't even sure we were going to Idris with them? Shouldn't we have mentioned that?"

Jace held up a hand to silence Alec. Touchy much? "We'll talk about it up in the training room. Jaci, do you have the book?"

I held up the novel I clutched in response. I'd taken to carrying it everywhere with me, reading whenever I had a chance.

Isabelle frowned. "Is it a good idea to carry that around?"

I handed the book over for her inspection. "Try not to focus on it so much."

She gasped in amazement. Even though I didn't see it, I knew she would see a white cover with an unusual mark on it, something like a T inscribed inside a circle, made out of flame instead of the plain black cover the book usually sported.

"_Sabriel?_"Isabelle read, evidently confused.

I took the book back from her. "It's a very complicated glamour," I explained, doing my best to brag without sounding like I was bragging. I might've been a little proud of myself. "I made it so that only someone who knows what the book says will be able to read it. Otherwise they will find themselves reading the first book of Garth Nix's _Abhorsen _series."

"What's an Abhorsen?" a new voice asked. Max had appeared behind us in the hallway.

Jace started to say something about the young boy minding his own business but I cut him off, suddenly inspired – and really wanting an opportunity to show off my abilities.

"Here," I handed him the book, "it sort of tells you in the prologue."

The four of us stood watching the ten year old read. Max read remarkably fast, only pausing to push his glasses back up his nose. My chest felt tight when I thought about his original fate in the book he held in his hands. I was determined to not let that happen.

"Wow," he said, eyes wide, as he handed the book back to me. "Abhorsen's a necromancer? That's so cool!"

"It's very cool," I agreed, turning to beam at the others. "I'll let you read it once I've finished, okay?"

Max grinned up at me. "All right. I have other books to read right now, anyways!" And with that he bounded off.

But Jace was scowling. "Necromancers are not cool," he growled. He stalked off with Alec towards the training room, leaving Isabelle and myself behind.

"What's up his butt?" Isabelle asked quietly enough that Jace couldn't overhear.

I shrugged in response.

"Did you two have a fight?"

I shrugged again.

"Oh my god, you did! What did you fight about?"

I gave her a look that was supposed to tell her to be quiet and increased the length of my steps to catch up with the boys. As much as I loved Isabelle, I didn't really want to talk about my relationship with her adopted brother at that particular moment. Especially since we'd reached the training room and voices carried fairly well in there.

Jace was carefully marking off a box on the floor, sticking seraph blades at the corners. It made me think of the Malachi Configuration which made me think of the Inquisitor which made me think of Jace as her grandson.

"Have you checked on Imogen today?" I asked.

"No," he responded shortly, turning his attention back to his activity.

"What are you making, Jace?" Isabelle asked. She stepped forward to examine the four blades. "This isn't a Malachi Configuration, is it? Because that would be really stupid."

"You're right, dear sister," he said dryly, "that would be stupid. It would also be stupid to talk about certain things with a possibility of being overheard. Now, get in the box."

Quietly, I stepped inside the square.

Isabelle raised her eyebrows at me. Very rarely did I do anything without some sort of snarky comment, particularly when it was Jace being bossy.

"You at least could've said please," she said as she stepped to stand beside me.

Alec followed her in and Jace followed him after naming the last blade and creating walls of silvery light between the four blades. Cautiously, I reached out to tap the nearest wall. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding when my fingertips met the silver wall and passed through it with only a slight warm sensation.

"Now Jaci," Jace said in a low voice that sent shivers down my spine, "about that book…"

* * *

><p>"We should make a list or something," Alec said with a heavy sigh. "There are so many people to watch out for."<p>

"Aldertree and Sebastian," Jace said dryly. "Do you think you can remember all two of them?"

"Don't forget Malachi Dieudonne," I reminded him.

"He's the Consul," Isabelle argued. "That's the highest office! How do we know the book's even right?"

I understood Isabelle's protests even if I didn't agree with them. "We'll keep him on the list. That doesn't mean we're going to kill him or anything. We're just going to pay very close attention to him. Maybe tie him up if the opportunity presents itself."

Alec got to his feet. "I'll get something to write all this down on."

I nodded in response to his leaving and turned back to paging through the book. It had been awhile since I'd read it and I wanted to be sure we knew everything from it that we would need. It was so much longer than I remembered. And just paging through a novel wasn't going to reveal the bare bits of plot I needed. I needed access to a computer and the internet back in my own dimension but that really wasn't possible without Peliel and the only way to contact Peliel was through near death experiences. Needless to say, I wasn't keen on that plan.

"Can I see that?"

I jumped in surprise, completely unaware that Jace had moved next to me, not to mention he was so _close_. Wordlessly, I handed him the book.

I caught Isabelle's eye. She waggled her eyebrows at the two of us. I blushed and bent to look over the book with Jace. I was so close to him that I could feel the warmth of his skin.

"It seems to me," he said slowly, paging through, "that if we just kill Sebastian the moment we lay eyes on him, at least half of our problems are over."

"Yeah," Isabelle agreed sarcastically. "We'd only be imprisoned for the rest of our lives-"

"And Valentine would still summon Raziel and kill all the Shadowhunters he didn't like," I finished.

Jace frowned at both of us. "I liked it better before you were parabatai who finished each other's sentences."

"What about sentences?" Alec had reappeared with a notebook and a pen. "Let's go through the people to watch out for again."

"Valentine," Jace piped up immediately. "Obviously."

"And Sebastian," I added. "More honestly known as the real Jonathan Morgenstern."

Alec carefully printed Sebastian Verlac/Jonathan Morgenstern at the top of the list. "Reasons to be cautious of him?"

"Actual son of Valentine, half demon, disables Allicante's wards, attempts to murder Izzy, actually murders Max, tries to murder me, and releases a demon army on the Shadowhunters." Jace counted each incident off on his fingers. "You know, I take it back. Killing Sebastian would prevent _all _of our problems."

Isabelle sighed and flopped on her back. "Maybe we can convince Mom and Dad to leave Max here with Luke and Clary."

"He'll hate us forever," Alec said quietly.

"At least he'd be alive to hate you forever," I pointed out in an even softer tone.

Jace nodded, jaw clenched. "Put that on our 'to do' list."

"Okay." Alec got a fresh sheet and scrawled "Leave Max home" across the top in big, bold letters. "Who next?"

"Inquisitor Aldertree," Isabelle said. "Reasons: Wants to blame everything that's happened here on our family, tortures Simon, plus he's awful."

"Then it's Consul Malachi," I said, figuring it was my turn to contribute to the list. "Reasons: an elitist, also just happens to be Valentine's spy. And the Consul. That'll be easy to take care of."

"We took down an Inquisitor," Jace said cheerily. "She can't even walk right now."

Isabelle raised an eyebrow at him. "She just so happened to be your grandmother and leapt to save your life. I don't think Jaci's Malachi's illegitimate daughter, sorry."

"I might be," I pointed out. "No one knows who my parents are." I tried to pretend that that fact didn't bother me. It did. A lot.

"Do we have any maps of Idris?" Jace asked, suddenly sitting up bolt upright, clutching the book. Evidently, he'd found something very interesting.

Alec eyed his parabatai closely. "In the library…"

"Good," Jace said briskly. "We can use that to locate Valentine's secret lair. In here I track Sebastian but if we find a map we can skip that step. Hmm," he added, "that's also where I find out that I'm not actually Valentine's kid."

"Spoiler alert," I said half-heartedly.

"So what's our plan then?" Isabelle asked. "We tell our parents that we're going to stay here instead of go to Idris, convince Magnus to make a separate Portal just for us, go on a glorified camping trip and hunt down Valentine and Sebastian?"

I ran that potential plan over in my mind. Despite how crazy it sounded, it was also vaguely possible except…

"I have to go to Alicante," I admitted. "So does Alec."

"Oh, right," Isabelle murmured. "The Clave wants to meet the 'Shadow Mage' and Alec's technically an adult."

"Not to mention it'd be weird if we went without our parabatai," Alec admitted dully.

Jace snapped the book shut, drawing our attention to him. What a surprise. "Then we go to Idris like planned except without Max. Once there, either Isabelle or Jaci can seduce Sebastian and get one of his hairs so that we can track him. It'll be more accurate and faster than a map."

"What?!" Isabelle's voice was not kind.

I fought back the urge to slap Jace. "_Seduce _Sebastian? That's disgusting!"

"I'm your sister!" Isabelle shouted.

"I'm your girlfriend!"

"And Sebastian's an evil bastard," Jace reminded us. "You ruled out killing him."

Alec, fortunately, cut in before Isabelle and I could tear Jace apart. "There's no use tracking him if he's with us the whole time. But if we wait to find Valentine until Sebastian leaves then Sebastian will have the opportunity to disable the wards. And if we stop Sebastian from disabling the wards, then we also stop him from finding Valentine and therefore leading us to him."

"Allowing Valentine to summon the Angel and kill us all," Jace said matter-of-factly.

My mind was racing. Potentially, I had an answer that might work. "Valentine can't summon the Angel or a considerable amount of demons without the Mortal Sword. And the sword would force Sebastian to tell the truth…"

"That'd be great if we _had _the sword," Jace said sourly.

I glanced at Isabelle who had a confident smile on her face.

"Oh," she said, "we have the sword."

* * *

><p>It had been decided that the keeper of the book was also the keeper of our notes so I was taking this opportunity to pour over them again. They were pathetically short, in my opinion. We – a group of teenagers – were going to try and prevent a war with a megalomaniac and our plan so far was to keep the ten year old at home and not trust a handful of people. And do something vague involving Maellertach. Wonderful.<p>

Peeta mrowed and moved onto my lap to have his ears scratched. A pang of guilt stabbed my stomach. I hadn't exactly been the best pet owner since becoming a Shadowhunter. And now I was going to Idris and leaving him behind in the vast, empty Institute with Church as his only companion. I didn't understand why the little cat loved me.

It was late and I was tired so I decided to get ready for bed, setting aside novel and notes. We were leaving for Idris in two days and the counter in my bathroom showed evidence of attempted packing. A small toiletry bag that Izzy had given me sat empty and open beside the things I would need in Idris but also needed before leaving.

"You know you don't need to worry about taking soap with."

I jumped about a mile. "Jace! What do you have against knocking?!"

He flashed me a half smile. "Nothing, I just think you're cute when you're surprised."

"One of these times I'm going to be armed and there'll be a dagger sticking out of your chest. Is that still cute?"

He didn't respond immediately and I took the moment to take in his appearance. He wore a thin white t-shirt and his favorite pajama pants that he'd finally stolen back from me. Fortunately, Isabelle had given me a pair of leggings to replace them which I was wearing coupled with a long sleeve t-shirt I might've possibly stolen from Jace's room. He didn't seem to mind at least.

"No," Jace answered finally. "But it is a little hot."

I choked back a laugh very attractively. "You and your fetishes."

"Would you like to hear about my other fetishes?" he asked suggestively, closing the space between us and backing me up against the edge of the tub.

"Are you trying to seduce me?"

He narrowed his eyes. "Is it working?"

This time, I laughed openly. "No. Now I'm just imagining you having a foot fetish or being really into pony play or something!"

"What the hell is pony play?"

I felt my face go hot. "People pretend to be ponies and, erm, riders."

Jace stared at me, clearly confused. "How do you know about that?"

"I used to watch a lot of crime shows and one of them involved pony play. Can we change the subject?"

"We could take a shower," Jace suggested, keeping his voice even but I could faintly see his pulse racing in his neck.

My stomach lurched not unpleasantly and I felt slightly lightheaded for a second. I'd seen Jace wearing nothing but a towel and the idea of seeing Jace without the towel made my heart flutter. But that also meant Jace would see_ me_. See me with all my scars and flaws that I was still working on accepting and embracing as part of me. While part of me know that Jace wouldn't care about my imperfections and would even be able to make me not care about them, another part was very aware that I wanted to come to terms with my body as beautiful without anyone else's help.

"I showered earlier today," I admitted regretfully. "Besides…" I figured I might as well tell him the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Especially since I still felt guilty about hiding his own memories from him. "I'm not exactly to a point where I'm comfortable with you, well, with you seeing _all _of me yet."

"Yet," he echoed, backing up half a step.

I nodded as confirmation. "You can sleep in here if you want but I have to brush my teeth first.

Jace pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. "Don't be long."

With my heart racing, I watched him cross my room, switch off the light, and climb into my bed. I brushed my teeth faster than I should've and went to join him, snuggling into his warmth.

To me, it had been months since I'd been in his arms like that, so close I could hear the beating of his heart. Almost lazily, he traced meaningless patterns on my back. I'd missed him. It took being separated from him and then being reunited for me to know completely, five hundred and ten percent, that this was how I wanted to spend every night for the rest of my life.

Only being able to see faintly, it took me a moment to find his lips and I kissed him awkwardly, noses and teeth getting in the way. I felt his mouth twist up in a smile briefly before he rolled so that he was above me, kissing me as if he never intended to stop.


	3. Impossible Things

**So I had a plan for this chapter, then things got unexpected and a little dark. Basically, this story has turned into a hobbit who just wanted to live his comfortable life but then a gaggle of dwarves recruited him as a burglar and took him off on an adventure.**

* * *

><p>I was in the middle of a dream about kayaking when a small bird landed on my kayak and started chirping incessantly, the same pattern over and over.<p>

"Jaci, make it stop," a groggy Jace mumbled from beside me.

The bird, as it turned out, was actually my alarm. I needed to wake up; Clary was coming over for breakfast.

It was extremely difficult to get out of bed. All I wanted was to snuggle with Jace for the rest of the day before I'd finally bring myself to do some frantic, last minute packing at four in the morning and be utterly exhausted for going to Idris.

Jace, it seemed, was thinking along the same lines. "Don't go," he said as I dragged myself out from under the blankets. His words were slightly slurred from sleep.

I'd never seen Jace so unaware and groggy and adorably out of it. He yawned expressively and curled into a ball, pulling the covers up almost over his head. Despite how much time I'd spent with him, Jace still surprised me at times. I was still struggling with processing the fact that he could go from seductive to silly in two seconds flat.

Well trained in the art of subtly changing clothes from years of dance, I got myself dressed for the day, forgoing the five extra steps taking my clothes into the bathroom would've caused me… only to then walk into the bathroom to brush my teeth and deal with my hair. My hair wasn't exactly messy but _was _weirdly lank and straight from being slept on so I decided to braid it like Caelia had taught me.

It occurred to me that I hadn't seen the faerie since taking her onto Valentine's ship. I knew she'd helped save Maia, the werewolf girl had told me herself, but she had mysteriously disappeared after the fact. Maia had informed Luke who eventually passed it along to me that Caelia had offered to help her because Valentine had murdered her brother. I frowned at my reflection as I used a hair tie to secure my braid. If what Luke had told me was true, then it seemed only fair to try and bring the faerie in on taking Valentine down. If only we could find her…

"Jaci," Jace called from my bed. "Why are you getting up so early?"

I popped my head around the door and grinned at him. "I've got a date."

That made him sit up. "With?"

"A hot faerie boy," I said sarcastically. "With Clary, who else?"

He half frowned. "I was hoping you'd say with me."

"You can come," I informed him, crawling back into bed with him for a few precious minutes. "She's coming here. I'm attempting to make crepes for her."

"Why?"

I kissed the tip of his nose and he moved to kiss my lips but I dodged, kissing him on the cheek instead. As attractive as Jace was, that didn't prevent him from having morning breath.

"I'm trying to make up the Idris thing to her."

"With breakfast?" he asked flatly, clearly unimpressed.

"Crepes," I reminded him. Crepes were delicious.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me snuggly. "You don't have to make Idris up to her at all. You're doing it for her."

That made me think for a moment. "Maybe I should invite Max to breakfast then."

Jace frowned. "We need to talk to Robert and Maryse about Max not going to Idris, not Max."

"I know," I sighed, trying not to roll my eyes. "It just might go over a little bit better if it comes across as his idea."

He apparently decided it wasn't a battle worth pursuing and rolled away from me and promptly fell back asleep. Or at least pretended to, I didn't really care either way.

* * *

><p>"You look… different."<p>

I whirled around in surprise. "_Simon?_"

He grinned at me from the doorway of the kitchen and ran a hand awkwardly across the back of his neck, looking painfully self-conscious.

"Clary said something about breakfast?"

I blinked. "Projection?"

Simon shook his head slowly. "In the flesh."

I stared, unable to think clearly. "But… you can't…" I shook my head. "I'm still asleep. I have to be."

Simon didn't respond, he just gave me a very confused look.

"Simon," I snapped, "you're a _vampire_. You shouldn't be able to come inside the Institute. It's hallowed ground…"

He shifted his weight uncomfortably but somehow still managing to make it look graceful. "My heart isn't supposed to beat either and Shadowhunters aren't supposed to be able to do magic."

I chose to ignore the magic bit. "Your heart beats? Since when?"

He crossed to the island too quickly to be considered graceful and perched on a stool. "Jaci, I don't think it ever stopped."

I stepped away from the griddle where I was making pancakes (crepes didn't work out) and stretched across the counter to poke his arm. Yup, definitely corporeal. "You're here, in the Institute, where vampires can't be, and you have a beating heart."

The seriousness of the situation was starting to sink in. In the books, a big deal was made about Simon because he was a Daylighter.

"Does anyone else know about this?" I snapped. This was bad. This was really bad.

Simon seemed taken aback by my very abrupt change in tone. "But this is a good thing," he argued. "I can still eat normal food, I can come inside, _I can lead a normal life_."

"No, you can't." _They'll want you dead._ I didn't even want to consider who the "they" was that I was mentally referring to. It was a really long list.

He frowned. "I thought you'd be happy for me."

And part of me was. The irrational part, but still part of me. The rest of me was painfully aware that this was very, very bad… and also eerily familiar. "It isn't as simple as you think it is, Simon."

"_I can live my life like nothing happened_," he insisted. "What's complicated about that?"

The smell of burning pancakes reminded me that I was supposed to be attempting to cook. Taking the opportunity to compose my thoughts and not just start ranting, I carefully turned the griddle off. Surprisingly, I found myself grateful for my Seelie Court training in diplomacy.

"The concept of leading a normal life isn't complicated, Simon." I was vaguely aware that I was using my I'm-talking-to-a-child voice, but I couldn't stop myself. "The Clave makes it complicated. And the vampires. And the demons. And the faeries. And the werewolves. And the warlocks. And the rest of the Downworld. You're not an island.

"The fact is, you're not supposed to have a beating heart. You're not supposed to be able to enter a church. You're not even supposed to be able to say 'God,' but you can. While all these things are good, they're also very bad for you and for everyone around you who tries to protect you. If the Clave finds out, they'll either have you killed or experimented on. And the other Downworlders? You'd be dead in an instant."

Somehow, even though he was sort of a vampire, he was able to look pale. "But why am I like this?"

I didn't want to answer that question. It was something I'd deliberately avoided thinking about and now, here it was.

I took a deep breath. "Remember when you were reborn as a vampire? How you didn't rise immediately?"

He scowled in response.

"I was just learning what I could do, with Light magic, the night you rose. I don't know what I did, I can't remember the words – I don't even think I knew the words – but it was some sort of magic and it made you rise."

"But it also made me different." Simon's eyes turned steely. How can brown be steely? "So this is your fault."

The accusation in his voice surprised me. "What?"

His lip curled up in a sneer. "You're not worried about me, you're just worried about what they would do to _you _if anyone found out you did this. I wouldn't be the target, Jaci. I'd be the bait. Clary's right about you."

"_What?_"

He stood up rapidly, causing the stool to screech as it slid across the tile. "That's why I'm actually here. Clary doesn't want to speak to you. She's sick of you trying to control her life for your own gain and frankly, I am, too."

* * *

><p><em>What the hell just happened? <em>Feeling beyond shell-shocked, I abandoned my breakfast plan and wandered numbly through the Institute.

"_She's sick of you trying to control her life for your own gain and frankly, I am, too."_

My brain-dead meandering had taken me to the training room. I didn't know why, and I didn't really care. Searching for the comfort of something familiar, something I understood, I started putting myself through my training exercises.

Focusing only on the physical exertion it took to dismember practice dummies, stray thoughts flitted through my mind.

_"__Do you have any idea how annoying and embarrassing it is when your sister clings to your side like some dog with separation anxiety?"_ Well, Clary, at least I'm not clinging to your side anymore. I shot an arrow towards the wall. It hit with a dull thud.

_"__You're in too deep to get out now. The storyline is altered and there's no going back."_ Well, Peliel wasn't wrong about that. Simon was a vampire-human hybrid, Jace could barely tolerate Clary, Valentine didn't have the sword, I ccould do magic, and a group of main characters knew how the original plot unfolds. We'd passed the deep end and just swan dived into the Mariana Trench.

Too bad my personal angel friend had stopped interfering back when I was still somewhere around _City of Bones_.

An hour later, feeling the same emotionally and physically exhausted, I made my way back to my room with every intention of showering and then avoiding the world. Unfortunately for my plan, Jace was still in my bed.

"Don't you have your own room?" I snapped, kicking the door shut behind me. While I was still upset, I wasn't upset with Jace and I was too tired to put any real vehemence in my voice.

Jace quirked an eyebrow at me. "I see breakfast went well."

I ignored him and crossed to the bathroom. Jace was not about to interrupt my plan. Especially since it felt like my plan was the only thing keeping me sane. I went to swing the door shut but Jace already had his foot in it, coming to investigate.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly as I angry turned the water on in the tub.

What was wrong was Peliel. My personal angel friend had abandoned me. Clary was back to hating me and she'd taken Simon with her. Plus, Jace was still mad at me for erasing his memories. And Peliel. The last time he'd spoken to me was before fighting my first Greater Demon, before learning I was a Shadow Mage, before taking on Valentine's demon army. _Where the hell was he?_

Angrily, I whipped my shirt off over my head and flung it in a corner, ignoring the fact that Jace was in room and hissing in pain as my shoulders protested after my over-the-top workout.

Jace inhaled sharply. "Jaci…" His voice was cautious and unsteady. "Do you want me to leave?"

"I don't fucking care."

If I hadn't been so despondent, I would've laughed at Jace's shocked expression. "What's wrong?"

At some point, I'd started crying. "I don't know." And then, with no further thought, I stepped under the stream of water and sat down in the tub, hugging my knees and sobbing.

With only a moment's hesitation to do away with his t-shirt, Jace had climbed into the tub, too, and had pulled me onto his lap.

"Shhhh." He stroked my hair softly and held me to his chest. When his hand reached the end of my braid, he gently tugged out my hairband and slowly unraveled my hair. "It's okay, Jaelyn. I'm here."

His gentle touch only made me cry harder. It was like my mind had succumbed to all the stress I wasn't aware I'd been carrying. The tiny sliver of me that wasn't bone numbingly wretched was mildly panicked about Jace seeing all my scars.

Almost as though he could guess my thoughts, Jace curled around me and pressed a kiss to the scar on my shoulder from my first encounter with a demon.

"This is from the first time you fought a Ravenor. And the first time I thought you were going to die." Even though his words weren't entirely comforting, his tone was. "If I remember correctly, you were really stupid about that fight. Didn't you grab its tail to save Clary? And these," he ran a finger down my spine, indicating scars I didn't even know I had, "must be from fighting Abbadon. You kept throwing yourself in the way. Your first fight with a Greater Demon with almost no training and all you wanted to do was save everyone else.

"You're also the girl who charged a hoard of demons with a faerie and a handful of knives. You tricked Valentine. You initiated a course of events that have already saved lives. You've done so much." Jace pressed a kiss to the top of my head. "When are you going to learn that you don't have to save the world by yourself?" He adjusted the temperature so that the water was warmer. "Jaelyn Catori, whoever you were, whoever you are, whoever you'll turn out to be – Flynn, Fray, or anything – there's one thing you'll never be: alone."


End file.
